When another revolution around the burning orb occurs relative to when I was brought into the world, I find the question, "so... how do you feel?" a bit funny. Unless I'm sick, I answer, "the same". The amount of revolutions I've persisted on this earth for myself is not quite halfway, taking into account average life expectations.
All the above is context to a question I received given the occasion of my survival celebration, and I need to write to think. The question, "what do you want to be true in one year, that isn't true now". There are a few dimensions to this question I need to work through, and if you're reading this, thanks for being along for the ridge. Buckle up!
On The Family
I love my family, dearly. Having young kids and being married has been joyful and difficult.
Navigating parenthood has been like entering a forest which seems to have a single well-trod path, only to be faced with junctions of a multitude of paths, each less clear than before. At some junctions we'll stride with family and friends (more on that later), but a bulk of the time is us, striding together through any kind of weather. Not only is there weather to battle, but also another dimension: one of "ghosts".
I may be irritable and along the path I will wander into the brush and a ghost will take my place of a man who is short with his wife and kids. I may hike up a hill in an attempt to triumph and be great, the ghost which is left is one who is as stone. I may descend into a misty valley, the ghost having a winsome character, yet it is an aspiration.
We all are in the forest from the first day we are on this earth. We strive with our caretakers, though they see a different world. For ideally a youth begets seeing a landscape of prairie. As we mature, shoots turn into wood, and wood into forest.
Of my ghosts, I take full responsibility. They hinder the family, and they are not necessary. When they substitute the cost is of joy, of presence, of contentment. I desire to strive with my family everyday. To not wander and leave a ghost in my place, for the place may never be void.
It is time they are laid to rest. My family deserves such, and more. By this time next year, and I am striving for sooner, these ghosts will be laid to rest.
On Community
We live in small town America. Our family see either someone, or another family we know, each day. What a blessing to know and be known. The pace of life is slow, but the nature of life is the same.
There is not much I can add here, while we are not perfect, we're involved. I desire that our involvement and investment continues to be a whole family effort, not merely parts of the family. While I believe this is case, it merits a mention to continue on the path.
What I desire to be true is that our family has not faltered in our striving with the community we are a part of.
On Myself
I do not perceive I live alone as an atom. I have, as I will posit you have, always been a part something, not apart. Family, community, nation, the world. Of varying degrees each has its influence and vice versa. Each has an importance and a priority.
I have laid out the order -- family, community, nation, ... -- intentionally. That the above is my priority is my aim. The thread which is woven into it all is that of my faith in Jesus Christ.
I'd also like improve my golf handicap and ship my database project. 😆
On Vocation
I take vocation here in the first sense: "a particular occupation, business, or profession; calling." I have elected into the vocation of software engineering. There is much I like about the vocation, and much I dislike, some I disdain. What I dislike and disdain is more general to the modern expressions of what constitute "work".
What I love are the people who are concerned every day to doing right by others and are penalized for not having "ambition". What I dislike are the self-interested people who are doing their best to leave others holding the bag and are revered for doing so because such is "ambitious"[0].
What I like is the ability and responsibility to take a computer and beget unto it as set of constraints to solve a real problem. What I do not like is that a lot of the software industry is invented problems[1].
What I like is contributing with intent to respect my fellow man, their problem needing a solution[2], both in development, operation, and maintenance. I disdain any sort of effort which does contrary for the sake of my ease or any incentive[3].
And I can go on, but I will not as the above captures broad strokes.
What I want to be true of my vocation is to lean graciously into my convictions and not be ruled by fabricated or veiled incentives. I have my own, which are derived from my worldview, thank you very much.[4]
In Sum
To my friends who asked the question, thank you! A yearly time to reorient (at the very least) is a blessing.
🖖
Footnotes
- I meet and talk to a decent amount of folks who present ambitious as "I want to make a lot of money" and/or "I want to have status through wealth, business, etc.". A flip of the scripts is in order.
- Seriously, we peaked with personal operating system and "office tools" (especially spreadsheets).
- Sometimes the solution is to redefine or rework such that there is no problem to being with. A lot of problems -- in my experience at least -- are invented, not discovered.
- Incentives are real. They are ever present. But to be ruled by them as if they're an immutable law is another question one must face. Very Freud, much Capitalist.
- Sometimes they'll align, others they won't. There may not be a need for incentives at all.